The birth of a new baby is a great event; not a spectator sport, but pretty great nonetheless. Once the baby is safely in the world and at home, everyone that the parents have ever met is invited over to coo at it and talk to it in strange singsong voices. If you don’t have kids yourself, you might feel a bit unsure of the new baby etiquette. Never fear; Wicked Uncle is here to help. Here is your ultimate guide to visiting new babies, interspersed with some cool baby products you could bring with you.
- Be prepared
- Say nice things about the baby
- When holding, support the baby’s head
- Bring a gift
- Support the parents too
Be prepared.
Find out if the baby is a boy or a girl in advance of your visit. People don’t like to hear their babies being called “it” and, since most new babies look like Winston Churchill anyway, it can be hard to judge at first sight. Also, you probably shouldn’t mention the Winston Churchill thing.
Say nice things
When you arrive, remember that compliments are key to the success of the visit. Remember to state at least once every five minutes how beautiful/cute/good natured/clearly very very gifted the new arrival is. Also tell mum she looks great. She’ll probably look shattered and a tad ropey, but mentioning that would just be rude, so stick with compliments, and bring chocolate. She’ll be very grateful.
You’ll undoubtedly have to hold the baby at some point. Try not to break it. Babies are kind of floppy, so concentrate on the head and neck with one hand and the rest with the other. It’ll all be fine, just take some deep breaths and then concentrate on the requisite adoring facial expression and aforementioned cooing, while secretly hoping it won’t bring milk up on your good trousers.
Expectations
New babies don’t do much. Try not to act disappointed about that. They’re cute and snuggly and they smell of talc, and that’s quite nice. They have cute tiny fingers and teeny tiny toes, and that’s about it. Do remember that to their parents, everything a baby does is miraculous. Nod along while they tell you all about the blinking thing from this morning, laugh hysterically at their impression of the funny noise baby made yesterday, and agree that the first smile yesterday was definitely not down to wind.
Our lovingly illustrated counting rag book is perfect to inspire your child.
Don’t overstay your welcome
When it is time to leave, try not to look too relieved. You may be off to pack for a ski-trip or meeting some friends in a drinking establishment, but looking excessively jubilant about it won’t do at all. Spare a thought for the sleep-deprived new parents who have 18 years of parenting ahead of them. It’s good fun being a parent, actually. Just not as much fun as skiing.
Check out our full range of gifts for babies here.
It’s really cool. Plus, remember we can gift wrap too. These children might as well start appreciating just what an excellent present-chooser you are from the early days, because it is only a matter of time till you buy them their first Zoob set.
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
People who say they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one.
