You Don’t Know It Yet, But You Need To See These 17 Posts About Toddlers

the problem: my daughter won’t stop climbing on the fireplace.

observation: my daughter hates Elmo.

solution: I made a toddler scarecrow. pic.twitter.com/JvAWUyQcch

— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) July 2, 2019

Toddler buys $400 couch on Amazon unbeknownst to mom https://t.co/flJ9tP92tr pic.twitter.com/5aPBqBl8DH

— CBS News (@CBSNews) July 2, 2019

I put my hands on my hips while I was talking to the toddler today.

Then she put her hands under her arms and flapping them up and down and making chicken noises.

So I started barking at her and now she’s crying. I win.

— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) July 1, 2019

My toddler: *wakes up in tears*
Me: what's wrong??
Toddler: I had a bad dream :'(
Me: oh no! What happened in it?
Toddler: I was Thanos, and he scared me
Me:… *sympathy combined with trying not to lose it* 🤣

— Jazza (@JazzaStudios) June 28, 2019

5 yo daughter: Mommy, know how babies are borned!

Me: Oh dear. How?

Daughter: Fairy dust.

Thank god…#momlife #toddlerlife

— Pauline Yasuda (@PaulineYasuda) June 29, 2019

My toddler is trying to put away her crayons in a box with no bottom

I’d help her, but she’s too happy

She thinks she has infinite crayons

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 1, 2016

wife: Why are there chicken nuggets all over the front yard?
me [whispers] Why are there chicken nuggets all over the front yard?
toddler [whispers] I planted chicken nugget trees
me: He planted chicken nugget trees

— Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 23, 2019

Toddler 1: which one is your dad?

Toddler 2: anyone with a beard.

Toddler 1: omg same!

— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 24, 2019

We call them “toddlers” only because “tiny treacherous tumult tornados” wouldn’t look right on a cute outfit.

— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) June 27, 2019

Assert your dominance.

Be a toddler.

— Stewie Loves Coffee ☕ (@stewiecoffee) July 2, 2019

Whoops! This adorable toddler was caught without a license. pic.twitter.com/UsoYBhCJn7

— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) June 30, 2019

Toddler: What’s that?

Me: That’s a table.

Toddler: What’s that?

Me: That’s a chair.

Toddler: *pointing at himself* What’s that?

Me: That’s an existential crisis.

— Daddy’s Digest (@daddysdigest) June 30, 2019

We need a toddler diet that looks like cat food but made for babies that think they're getting away with something pic.twitter.com/GY91A6muPO

— Dr. Emily (@DrEmilyThomas) June 28, 2019